The walls

The walls are a different colour now. They were one colour, purple bedroom, blue sitting-room, (you sit in that one), white kitchen, peach small room, (it is small) and orange big room, (kids sleep there). There were places were the paint was coming off, little scrapes, bits we’re stuck up pictures fell off taking bits of the paint.

They’re different colours now. The bedrooms have different walls, an orange wall, a blue wall, but still it’s like after all the work, the paint in my eyes, as if nothing has changed. As if it was all for nothing. Yes the little patches are gone, but here and there, in the corners, or at the place where the wall meets the ceiling, there are imperfections, little smudges. What was the point. Last night I forgot what colour the bedroom was before it was painted. I had to check old photographs until I found the bedroom and me, a younger me, in the purple room. What was the point. The pictures are back up no doubt already working away at the fresh paint. And the younger me staring back from the photographs. Was I happier then when the walls were purple? Maybe. I was smiling at least, and it looks like my eyes were brighter, but it was only a couple of weeks ago. I can’t even remember what I was so happy about. What could it have been? Perhaps I was excited about changing the wall colours? Maybe I’d been looking through swatches, little perfect square samples. Duck egg blue. There were over a thousand to choose from. 190 versions of red, like Party Surprise 3 or Implosion. Only 119 versions of orange meaning there are 71 more reds than oranges, like Orange Fizz and Hot Paprika 3. Still, I suppose, even though there were 71 less orange options 119 is plenty to choose from but the thing is I can’t remember which orange we went for in the end. Definitely closer to Hot Paprika 3 than Orange Fizz but definitely not Hot Paprika 3.

I got into the shed trying to find the empty paint tins but it was dark and I was drunk. I couldn’t find them. I got my phone opened on the paint website but none seemed to match. Could I have somehow gotten a 120th orange, some sort of experimental orange like Wet Sunset or Blush? I don’t think so. They’d probably have to ask you if they were going to send something like that.

I’m not sure what to do next. Maybe the carpets. They look old. I’ve been looking at samples and then there’s the bed clothes and the curtains, of course, but I’ll keep the samples just in case, after it’s done I forget which one I chose.